Navigating the Five Stages of Grief

Grief is a universal experience that accompanies significant losses, such as the death of a loved one, job termination, or other major life changes. Understanding the grieving process can aid in managing the complex emotions that arise during such times. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced a model outlining five stages of grief, which, while not experienced uniformly by everyone, provide a framework for understanding common reactions to loss.

1. Denial

In the initial stage, individuals may struggle to accept the reality of their loss. This defense mechanism serves as a buffer against the immediate shock, allowing time to process the overwhelming emotions. Examples include avoiding discussions about the loss or insisting that the news isn't true.

2. Anger

As the denial diminishes, feelings of anger may surface. This anger can be directed toward oneself, others, medical professionals, or even the person or thing that was lost. It's a natural response, often stemming from the pain of the loss. Manifestations might include blaming others for the loss or experiencing heightened irritability.

3. Bargaining

During this stage, individuals may dwell on "what if" or "if only" scenarios, attempting to negotiate a different outcome. This reflects a desire to regain control and mitigate the pain. For instance, one might think, "If only I hadn’t waited so long to evacuate, I would have all my cherished possessions.”

4. Depression

Profound sadness and hopelessness characterize this phase. As the reality of the loss sets in, individuals may withdraw from activities they once enjoyed, experience changes in sleep or appetite, and feel a pervasive sense of despair. These feelings are a natural part of grieving. However, if such symptoms persist beyond a year and significantly impair daily functioning, it may indicate prolonged grief disorder, a condition affecting approximately 7% to 10% of bereaved individuals.

5. Acceptance

In this final stage, individuals come to terms with the reality of their loss. Acceptance doesn't imply happiness but signifies a readiness to move forward, cherish memories, and find ways to live meaningfully despite the loss.

Seeking Support

Grieving is a deeply personal journey, and there's no right or wrong way to navigate it. Seeking support can be beneficial. Consider reaching out to:

• Family and Friends: Sharing feelings with trusted individuals can provide comfort.

• Grief Counselors or Therapists: Professionals can offer strategies to cope with intense emotions.

• Support Groups: Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can foster a sense of community.

• Spiritual or Religious Leaders: For those inclined, spiritual guidance can offer solace.

  
  

Local community resources often provide information on grief support services. Engaging in small acts, such as sending a card, delivering a meal, or regularly checking in on someone who is grieving, can also offer significant comfort.

Remember, grief is a natural response to loss, and allowing oneself to experience and express these emotions is a crucial part of the healing process.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Christina Ahumada is our board secretary and one of the invaluable board members of SEWI. Christina has 20 years of clinical experience and holds a BA in Psychology from UCLA, along with Master’s and Doctorate degrees in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology. She has worked in community mental health, inpatient psychiatry, and private practice, dedicating 10 years at Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services as a program director for adults facing severe mental illness, addiction, and homelessness.

Over the past month, Christina has been actively supporting local organizations that are assisting those most affected by recent events in Los Angeles. She created a guide to help the volunteers of these organizations better understand and support those they serve. With her generosity, we can share this guide with our community members, hoping it will provide relief during this challenging time.